Happy October! Let’s start Spooky Season off with…
A mash-up, a monster mash-up, of the strangest remote controls ever made. I hope it’s a graveyard smash with our readers. These freaks of technology include the weird, the wired, and the downright wicked.
Between the shape and the tail, this thing is more rat than remote. More specifically, I'm going with “Undead Zombie Rat” on this one. “Bones” is in the name, after all. Plus, this remote from Zenith was the first successful TV remote control. Born in 1950, that makes this Undead Zombie Rat older than most (but not, respectfully, all) of us.
Considering this was the first wireless TV remote control (Zenith had the early remote game in the bag, didn’t they?), it’s a small surprise that this thing looks like peak alien technology. Straight out of Star Trek, it’s a mix of past and future that totally earns the name “Space-Command.”
Silver with a “bare-bones” feel makes this one the skeleton in my closet. Even the pale white buttons give the remote a spooky skeleton vibe. But if you crack open the skeleton, you do get to see some fleshy bits of more advanced buttons. So perhaps this is more of an inverse skeleton?
This jumbo universal remote has Big Foot stamped all over it. Not literally, of course; otherwise, it would certainly be in many more pieces.
It’s blood-red and has a cape. Need I say more? I might as well, I'm on a roll. This remote controls a bed, which is similar enough to a coffin where vampires are concerned. They must be super comfy on their bed-coffins, adjusting their head elevation and giving themselves foot massages.
Thin, unnaturally tall, faceless? That’s Slenderman right there. It even looks like it’s wearing a black suit. I can picture it sneaking around, terrorizing children and driving its victims insane by refusing to control the volume.
This is a ghostly tale from the land of Ire. Here’s how it goes:
Once upon a time, Ireland built a bridge that relied on a remote control to swing open or close. It would open for ships and boats to sail past, then close for cars to cross. Then one terribly dark night (or, more likely, one horribly bright Monday morning), someone lost its remote control. And the bridge couldn’t open for four years, greatly affecting transportation. They say the ghost of the remote still haunts the bridge, wailing and waiting for someone to replace its dead batteries.
This thing is a compilation of different parts worse than Frankenstein’s Monster. You have big buttons, small buttons, round buttons, square buttons, long buttons, short buttons…it has a screen sewn onto it, has LED indicators stitched into it, and can be pre-programmed for surely nefarious purposes. I don’t even want to name it for fear of giving it an identity and thus taking responsibility for it and its actions.
This thing is a werewolf. It has the teeth - the pin connectors that bite into the remote socket - to prove it. Or are those just the pointy ends of its tail? I'm beginning to lose track of these things.
I'd also accept Davy Jones for this one. But Nessie seems to fit better with our Halloween Monster theme. Though it leads us to question...Why would Sony ever make such a sickly sea-green remote control?
Almost as rare as an actual dragon, this remote belongs to the legendary Nakamichi Dragon cassette deck. That deck plus this remote equals a bigger fortune than a golden goose’s golden egg.
Clearly a shapeshifter remote that chose to change its form into SpongeBob, the most innocent of all cartoon sea sponges. Like a mass murderer posing as Chucky, the harmless children's doll.
This may be a remote for an audio/video system, but it does look more like a calculator, doesn’t it? “But Writer,” I hear you cry, “a calculator is not a Halloween monster!”
I disagree. As a child, I held more fear of doing a math problem on the board in front of the class than I ever did for ghosts or the boogeyman hiding under my bed. I still have nightmares of Mrs. Wilson and the horrid mathematical proofs she came up with for our math class to do…*shudders* Ahem. Let’s move ahead.
What has red horns, a sharp smile, and a pointy tail? That’s right, the notorious ASU mascot, Sparky! Also, the Devil.
And the monster of all remotes goes to…Monster. With this, you can have a monster in your very own front yard. Or your living room. Wherever you keep your home theater setup.
And there you have it! Fifteen of the spookiest remotes ever made. I hope you enjoyed them and that thoughts of calculator-shaped remotes don't keep you up tonight...
Thanks for reading! From all of us at SpenCertified, we hope you and your family have a wonderfully spooky Halloween this year!
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